The Community is Constantly Changing

I am fortunate to work with students on a collage campus. I get to be on the cusp of the changing face of young queer people. When I started this journey people had not re-claimed the word queer. In fact when I started at UW-L people were still calling us the GLBT Community. At that time people did not really understand what bisexuality or transgender meant. During this time women started changing the name to the LGBT Community (why always let the men be first!!!) Pretty soon we started adding letters. I remember when a student made a sign that said "Queer Pride!" He hung it in the Pride Center (the office was called the Diversity Resource Center at that time)office window (this was when the office was across from 212 Cartwright so it was very visible.) I had a lot of conversations with staff who were shocked and offended. As students started to use the word more and more some faculty and staff embraced it. Still to this day there are faculty, staff and students who will never use the term. Why take back a word that is still used to hurt? Young people don't have the memory of the past and how that word was used. I remember going to the NGLTF (National Gay and Lesbian Task Force) Conference and seeing in the program that one of the caucuses was for Gender Queer people. I had no idea what that was about. I read the description and thought "That could be me!" So I went and found a sea of people that were so diverse. Diverse in age, race, how they identified and where they were at in this process. It was a beginning for me. It was the first time I had ever really thought about gender. There are so many things to learn and to keep learning. Terms that we have just started educating the campus community on in the last 2-3 years. cisgender- term used to describe persons who have a gender that society considers appropriate for the one assigned at birth. pansexual- someone who may experience sexual attraction toward people regardless of gender and physical sex.** non-binary- is an umbrella term covering any gender identity or expression that does not fit within the gender binary. asexual- someone who does not experience sexual attraction. Unlike celibacy, which people choose, asexuality is an intrinsic part of who we are. There is considerable diversity among the asexual community; each asexual person experiences things like relationships, attraction, and arousal somewhat differently. Asexuality is distinct from celibacy or sexual abstinence, which are behaviours, while asexuality is generally considered to be a sexual orientation. Some asexuals do participate in sex, for a variety of reasons.** demisexual- person who does not experience sexual attraction unless they form a strong emotional connection with someone.** ** From the AVEN Wiki http://www.asexuality.org/wiki/index.php?title=Main_Page I was preparing myself tonight to present the Pride Center's Ally Training tomorrow to the Financial Aid staff at UW-L and in preparing I found two terms in the Prezi that I had to research on. neutrois- a non-binary gender identity that falls under the genderqueer or transgender umbrellas gray a- Asexuality and sexuality are not black and white; some people identify in the gray area between them. People who identify as gray-A can include, but are not limited to those who: do not normally experience sexual attraction, but do experience it sometimes experience sexual attraction, but a low sex drive experience sexual attraction and drive, but not strongly enough to want to act on them people who can enjoy and desire sex, but only under very limited and specific circumstances** One terminology that I hear young people using is the acronym GSM which stands for Gender and/or Sexual Minority. I have heard and read that they feel it is more inclusive then LGBTIQQAA or Queer. I am not sure I would ever use that term to describe myself or my community. The Free Dictionary defines the word... mi·nor·i·ty (m-nôr-t, -nr-, m-) n. pl. mi·nor·i·ties 1. a. The smaller in number of two groups forming a whole. b. A group or party having fewer than a controlling number of votes. 2. a. A racial, religious, political, national, or other group thought to be different from the larger group of which it is part. b. A group having little power or representation relative to other groups within a society. c. A member of one of these groups. I feel like we have worked so hard educating people to NOT call people of color, women, people with disabilities, queer people, etc... minorities and now the word is re-surfacing. I still hear family members and colleagues use that term. However, I try to help them re-phrase what they are saying with a different word. The bottom line is the world keeps changing. I am happy to be in a place where I can see, hear and be a part of it.

Welcome 2012

The picture is me with my first "real" bow tie. They are not easy to tie! Tara and I worked on this for about two hours. We watched youtube clips over and over and finally I got it!!!

2012 has started well for me. Tara and I spent a lot of time together over winter break. The holidays went pretty well for me. Christmas was a bit sad this year because it brought back memories from having to put Cierra down last year. It helps to have a wonderful new puppy named Lily. Tara and I had tears several times this holiday season remembering our beloved girl.

Holiday times with family has been pretty good. I did have one experience with some of Tara's extended family. One of the teenage cousins was at Christmas with her boyfriend. They sat on a couch all night staring and laughing at me. I did not feel paranoid or anything!! I ignored them and did my own thing. Another experience I had happened just this past weekend. Visiting Tara's 80+ year old grandma in the nursing home and one of her grandma's friends stops by. Alpha introduces us to her and she referrers to me as her granddaughter's husband, Will. Tara and I both agrees it feels a little weird to be called a husband or a wife, but to have her grandma be so supportive of us is great!!!

Hopefully 2012 will have more blogs then the previous years!!!

Shalom!