How it all began

I never felt complete or whole. In fact I often felt like I had a very large hole inside that I could not figure out what belonged in it. I used alcohol, cutting, food, masturbation etc, etc, etc, Nothing helped. I did therapy and worked on a lot of shit which helped me in so many ways but in the end i was still empty

The first time I heard gender queer I was interested. Was that me? The name and the identity fit for awhile but like everything else in the end i was still empty. My research had me read the book Becoming a Visible Man and I felt the need to explore my gender identity and expression.

If you have never struggled with your gender identity/expression you will never understand what it is like to not be congruent all of your life and to spend so much time and energy searching for the real you! This process is difficult but has helped me become whole!

Legally changing my gender!

In the state of WI you must have "surgery" before you can legally change your gender marker. So I called the Office of Vital Records and talked to Hal and asked him "what kind of surgery do you need" His answer "the surgery." I responded with "which one?" His answer "The Surgery!" I of course had to say "do you know how many types of surgery a person could have? Which one are you talking about?" His answer "DO YOU WANT ME TO MAIL THE FORM OR NOT?" I said "no thanks."

Well, just a couple of years later and here I am again and this time I did want the form mailed. I have had chest surgery and I am ready to complete the form and get a new birth certificate. I will have the old birth certificate impounded so that it can not be accessed.

It's a boy!!!!!