How it all began

I never felt complete or whole. In fact I often felt like I had a very large hole inside that I could not figure out what belonged in it. I used alcohol, cutting, food, masturbation etc, etc, etc, Nothing helped. I did therapy and worked on a lot of shit which helped me in so many ways but in the end i was still empty

The first time I heard gender queer I was interested. Was that me? The name and the identity fit for awhile but like everything else in the end i was still empty. My research had me read the book Becoming a Visible Man and I felt the need to explore my gender identity and expression.

If you have never struggled with your gender identity/expression you will never understand what it is like to not be congruent all of your life and to spend so much time and energy searching for the real you! This process is difficult but has helped me become whole!